Our condolences
The Maternity Team would like to express their sincere condolences to you and your family at this extremely difficult time. The death of a baby is heart breaking and the effects of this trauma can be overwhelming. Many parents feel dazed, confused, drained and isolated. This often means that taking in all the information you are given may seem impossible and decision making or knowing what you want is difficult.
We are aware that the memories of this time before you must say goodbye to your baby will be very precious to you for the rest of your life. There is only one opportunity for you to capture the memories that will be with you forever. It is for this reason that the Maternity Team want to help you to gather all of the mementos you choose from the options we can offer.
It is our priority to make sure that you are safe and that your care is tailored to your specific needs.
Spending time with your baby
You may wish to see or hold your baby. Many parents say that spending this time with their baby is a comforting memory. However, there are no rules and if you feel that this would not be helpful for you, please do not feel pressured to do so. The staff in hospital are there to give you choices, make suggestions and offer opportunities so you can do what is right for you and your family.
If you have concerns about what to expect in terms of your baby’s appearance, you could ask a midwife or doctor to describe what they look like or you may wish to see a photograph first.
If you have decided that you would like some mementos of your baby then this is what we can offer you:
- Memory box
- Hand and footprints, this can sometimes be difficult if your baby is very small
- Photographs by the midwives or professional photos by a photographer free of charge. If you would like to know more and see some examples of their work please ask your midwife.
The memory box we offer for your baby includes:
- a candle
- a guardian angel
- a card to mount footprints on
- an inkless footprint kit
- a memory card for photos
In addition to the memory box we can also provide:
- a cot card
- baby name labels
- a lock of hair
- clothes and blankets
Our Hospital Chaplain is available to attend to perform a Naming and Blessing Ceremony. The hospital chaplaincy provides services for all faiths.
Counselling for trauma or loss during pregnancy and birth
We can offer you:
- The opportunity to work with a professional counsellor who has experience of maternity care services.
- A safe space to talk together, and process the unexpected experience you are having to come to come to terms with.
- A professional relationship that can support you through a time that feels overwhelming and isolating.
- Guidance and support on how to grieve, alongside continuing with day-to-day life.
- Strategies to help you reconcile your thoughts and feelings of loss, so that you can begin to believe in a positive future - one that enables you to carry your loss in a healthy way.
You can also contact your GP for further support.
Sands Baby Loss Charity can offer support, as can NHS Rotherham Talking Therapies.
To find out more about the free counselling service then you can either liaise with the Maternity Team or contact the Bereavement Specialist Midwife on 01709 427274 or 07917 243049.
Things to remember checklist
Registering at the Register Office affiliated with your hospital.
Visit from a Midwife within 24 hours following your discharge from hospital.
Arrange a private funeral with a Funeral Director or Religious Leader of your choice. Alternatively, with the Chaplaincy Service for a hospital funded funeral.
Make an appointment with your GP within two weeks following discharge from hospital for a postnatal check.
Attend an appointment with an Obstetric Consultant in 16-20 weeks after delivery to discuss events and results.
Your appointments will be sent out once all your results are available.
Please make note of any questions you may have.
Produced by Shahida Mehrban, May 2019. Revised September 2020. Revision due September 2022. Version:3.0 ©The Rotherham NHS Foundation Trust 2020. All rights reserved.